ATTN: LADIES!

I am not even going to lie…I have turned into a Twihard overnight! I, for one am Team Edward; not only do I love myself an Englishmen, but I find Robert Pattinson particularly intriguing. He’s beautiful, English, can sing, play piano and guitar, and he’s English…did I mention that already? Anyway, there’s a point to my admission of Twihard-ness…WHYYY?????!!! I have only skimmed the books in recent weeks and as a well read person I can say this…the writing in these books is so incredibly elementary, uncreative, beyond unrealistic, and completely predictable. A vampire with the ability to impregnate, really? With all of this being said why has the Twilight Saga, a series geared at impressionable 13 year old girls become such a smash hit? Are we so vapid, starved for true romance, or delusional? A combination of all three? Who knows. All I have to say is this…
From the weeks building up to the latest movie (Breaking Dawn: Part 1) and the weeks after it’s release all you see online, and on Facebook is everyone going on and on about this insipid love triangle. I am not above this as I, myself have blathered on about my “love” for Edward, sat on line for an hour to see the movie, and bought the soundtrack. BUT I know it’s just a unrealisitic, fluff story, in fact I love it because it is so ludicrous, BUT scaringly enough A LOT of people don’t.
This Twilight phenomenon has gone out of control with Twimom’s who are, on average, a group of 40+ women fawning over a 16 werewolf or shape shifter (whatever he is) and an 18/109 year old vampire. Does this not frighten you? It frightens me. These mom’s are so out of control that I’ve read they’re sending underwear and love letters to the actors. Creepy much?  As an adult we should understand and be past all this ridiculous, endless, “I will die for you” love bullshit. If you’re a mom who loves this book please let it be for the same reason I love it and not because you’re looking for your Jake/Edward. Do you really think a teenager is deeper than how cute you are and how desperate they are to have sex and to have someone to like them? Trust me folks there are no Jacob’s and Edward’s in your high school, in your office, in the bar you’re hanging out in on the weekend, or anywhere else for that matter!!!
Why does Hollywood or these fantasy love stories lead us to believe or yearn for this unattainable so-called love? Aren’t we smarter than that? What are we teaching our daughters? If we lead them to believe that this is the kind of love they should be looking for they are going to be some sad, lonely, disappointed people. Not to mention that if any person claims to have these Twilight feelings for you, you should run very fast because he is a creepy stalker who will kill you in your sleep in some jealous rage!! I am a die hard romantic and would love to live in a world where some guy gives Edward’s speech at my wedding and says all these “profound” romantic things, to have someone willing to die for me at any given moment, etc., but if you really think about it it’s a little bit scary/over the top. If you are going to be a fan of the Twilight Saga you should realize that this kind of love only exists in fairytales and that’s where it belongs! I squeal like a little girl when I watch the movies and my heart flutters every time Edward or Jake says something sweet, and loving to Bella, but do I expect Tommy to be my Edward? hahahaha NO WAY!!! I know Edward is just a character in a book that caters to the 13 year old innocent, clueless little girl inside me.
When you catch yourself dreaming and fantasizing about finding your Jake or Edward (Eddie, as I affectionately call my fantasy boyfriend ROFL) you need to stop yourself. Real love is not about these ridiculous “romantic” gestures. Do you really want someone appearing in your room while you’re asleep, or reading your mind, or tracking you down by scent, or all the drama that comes with a love triangle, or killing you so you can be together forever? If you want any of the aforementioned I suggest you stop reading this and seek intensive therapy for your issues!!!
What is it that we lack, haven’t been taught or have been taught that makes us believe that these kinds of “I will cease to live if I’m not with you” relationship exists? Is this why women are so incredibly disappointed? Is the divorce rate so high because women have unreal expectations of love and relationships? Maybe it’s time for us to re-evaluate. Get a grip on reality ladies! You nor I am Bella Swan and why would you want to be anyway? Let’s enjoy it for what it is, let’s not search for our Jake and Edward or else we will be alone forever. If you believe you have one than more power to you! (If you ask me I think you are blind and clueless and heading towards a fast and furious reality check/major disappointment, but ok if that’s what get’s you through the day).
I know people might label me as being cynical and I’m not at all. I am an everyday romantic just like every other woman, but I am also a realist. I was not raised to believe my knight in shining armor would ride up to Whitestone on a horse to find me. I was raised to expect what is necessary in a relationship and to see love and all it’s fancy things for what they are. We might love a few different people in this life because they feed something in us at the moment. Not every single one of these relationships will last and that doesn’t make the love any less real. I don’t believe in one true love because as human beings we are ever evolving. Who we are today we might not be next year or the year after. We always hope that we grow together, but that’s not always the case. I am getting married soon, but it’s not because I think I will die without Tommy’s love or because I think he is the only human being in existence that could ever make me happy. True love is one that makes you be a better version of yourself, calls you on your shit, who accepts your flaws and highlights your strengths, who supports you in good and bad, who makes you think, who stands by you. Maybe this person(s) doesn’t always clean up after themselves, maybe you hate the way they dress, maybe they haven’t even always been faithful (I know this will cause a riot), but really those are all nuances. What you need to know is that this person has always been there EVERYTIME you’ve needed them, this person has been your support system no matter what, hasn’t added any unnecessary nonsense to you life in this already complicated world. We aren’t perfect, we all screw up, and we can’t be characters in this over the top love story like we’d theoretically like to be.
So in conclusion all my fellow Twihards, Twimoms and in between…love somebody, love then deeply, passionately, endlessly BUT remember when you’re sitting down engrossed in these books and movies that love like this is so ridiculous and non-existant, it’s made just for fantasy, not reality. When you find yourself literally yearning for a love like that of a 109/18 year old vampire, his 16 year old werewolf rival and their common interest (the ever so awkward Bella) you know you’ve crossed a line into delusional and now need mental help…

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